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Ten Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships

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Title: Ten Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships
by Laura C. Schlessinger
ISBN: 0-06-051260-1
Publisher: Quill
Pub. Date: 24 December, 2002
Format: Paperback
Volumes: 1
List Price(USD): $12.95
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Average Customer Rating: 3.98 (44 reviews)

Customer Reviews

Rating: 4
Summary: Full of Good Common Sense
Comment: Dr. Laura is arguably the most polarizing figure in media. She has millions of fans and followers, but there are also many around the country who won't get near her radio program and books because of her in-your-face approach and politics. If you're in that category, I suggest you ignore the fact that this is a Dr. Laura book and focus on the information within. Each chapter deals with a certain set of problem areas that nearly all couples come across, and Schlessinger's advice and comments are always rooted in clear thinking and principles. There are also interesting blurbs from callers who previously or currently are dealing with the subject matter at hand. You may not agree with her approach at times, but give this book an honest chance if you're a skeptic and see if you don't find that the printed pages are full of terrific help for your relationship. Devoted Schlessinger fans, of course, will swear by it.

Rating: 3
Summary: Needs Balance
Comment: Like Dr. Laura's show, Ten Stupid Things is at first refreshing and entertaining but grows somewhat depressing as it progresses. It is nice to have someone point out common sense realities (like it may not be entirely appropriate for a married spouse to spend time alone with a friend of the opposite sex). And it is refreshing to read a book about relationships which tackles the difficult problem of pride of both women and men.

Unfortunately--and this may be true of all self-help books--the ideology within the book becomes rather wearing. Dr. Laura doesn't seem to allow for the vagaries and individualism of human nature. By ideology I am not referring to Dr. Laura's religious convictions but rather to the belief that there is always an (x) resolution for (y) behavior. Solutions are posed in black and white scenarios. I contest that it is possible to believe in absolutes without adopting blanket assertions.

However, such blanket assertions may, as I've suggested, be due to the nature of self-help books themselves. I suppose if one didn't believe in a solution for every problem--if one believed that (y) behavior might result in (v), (w), or (x) resolution or in something completely different altogether--one would never write self-help books at all. I've had the same reaction to John Gray's Mars and Venus material. Nice idea but golly, surely there's another way of looking at the subject.

Recommendation: Read 10 Stupid Things in parts or buy other self-help books on the same subject to balance Dr. Laura.

Rating: 4
Summary: Straightforward And On Target Advice For Couples
Comment: The book presents a compelling and eye-opening viewpoint and provides a good basis for couples who want to build better skills at relating by re-examining their behaviors. While reading, I did recognize behaviors in myself that I have also engaged in but was previously not aware of.

It is clear that Dr. Laura has strong beliefs and is passionately committed to her ideas and to her viewpoints. The information is presented in a straightforward manner and is often on target. Though Dr. Laura's style of communication is strong, the message and content is ultimately geared to help readers recognize their behaviors and to prevent broken relationships.

I have also read another book on relationships that I found to be extremely enjoyable and helpful as well. The book is "Working On Your Relationships Doesn't Work" by Ariel and Shya Kane. This book explores a new technique geared toward mending relationships and building ones that are nurturing and fulfilling. This book uses examples from many of the Kanes' clients and associates, from their workshops and seminars, as well as from their own personal life journey. By bringing awareness to our ingrained patterns of behavior, they guide readers to discover satisfaction and increased productivity in their lives and relationships, without having to "work" on their
problems...as well as how to have a lot of fun along the way (that "fun" part is right up my alley!)

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