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Title: Mars and Venus Starting Over: A Practical Guide for Finding Love Again After a Painful Breakup, Divorce, or the Loss of a Loved One by John Gray ISBN: 0-06-093027-6 Publisher: Quill Pub. Date: 18 June, 2002 Format: Paperback Volumes: 1 List Price(USD): $13.95 |
Average Customer Rating: 4 (30 reviews)
Rating: 5
Summary: As usual, Dr. Gray does it again with a great book!
Comment: I have so far only listened to the Audio Tape Version of the Book, MARS AND VENUS STARTING OVER. As Usual, Dr. Gray does NOT use "psycho-babble", but rather REAL LIFE issues in lauguage that the lay person can easily understand. My Divorce is almost final, and I would HIGHLY recommend this Audio Series to ANYONE who is just beginning the process of a Divorce, (or really at ANY stage in the process). I am eagerly awaiting the Pocket Sized book of the same title. This book, with the full text, instead of the condensed text of the 3 hour audio tape version, will contain in it, I am quite sure, even MORE good, useful and helpful information about the subject/Process of Divorce and learning to not only start one's Love Life over again, but to learn to Love again without fear of the same thing happening again and to Live a normal life, Love again a member of the opposite sex, helping one to re-marry, if one so chooses, and not repeat the mistakes made in the previous Marriage (in My case, my first Marriage). If you have never read ANY of Dr. Gray's material before, I fully expect that you will be very pleasantly surprised with the content of this Book.
Rating: 5
Summary: If you fit into any of the categories, rush to get this book
Comment: Heard and enjoyed the taped version of MARS AND VENUS STARING
OVER by John Gray . . . the subtitle says it all: "A Practical Guide
for Finding Love Again After a Painful Breakup, Divorce or the Loss of
a Loved One."
If anybody finds himself or herself in any of those categories, then
rush out to get this book (or the tapes) . . . you'll find a lot of
useful advice.
The first third is general information . . . Gray then presents material
relevant to women first, men second . . . I found the latter section
particularly valuable for what it had to say to me.
Among the ideas that I got from listening:
* The three steps for healing a broken bone are: getting help, resetting
the bone, and them giving it time to heal by protecting the bone in
a cast. In a similar way, the three steps for healing the heart are:
Step One: Getting help
Step Two: Grieving the loss
Step Three: Becoming whole before getting involved again
* [the four healing emotions]
Healing Emotion 1: Anger
Feeling then releasing anger reconnects us to our passion for love and life.
Healing Emotion 2: Sadness
Feeling and then releasing sadness opens our hearts to fell the sweetness
of love once again
Healing Emotion 3: Fear
Feeling and then releasing fear provides the ability to discern what we need
and can depend on now.
Healing Emotion 4: Sorrow
Feeling and then releasing sorrow provides the ability to discern what is
possible.
* Another way to process the four healing emotions is simply to ask
yourself these four questions. Often men find this an easier approach
in the beginning. By answering these questions, our healing emotions
automatically begin to come up. While answering these questions,
give yourself permission to feel anger, sadness, fear, sorrow, and any
other similar feelings.
1. What happened?
2. What didn't happen?
3. What could happen?
4. What can't happen?
If you wish to explore a little deeper, there are a few more questions you can
ask and answer.
QUESTION ONE
What happened that you didn't want to happen?
What is happening that you don't want to happen?
What has happened that you do not like?
QUESTION TWO
What didn't happen that you wanted to happen?
What is not happening that you want to happen?
What should have happened?
QUESTION THREE
What could happen that you don't want to happen?
What is important to you?
What could happen that you want to happen?
QUESTION FOUR
What can't happen that you want to happen?
What can't happen that you wish could have happened?
What can happen that you want to happen?
By asking these four questions or practicing the three parts of the feeling
better exercise, you will be better prepared to heal the waves of feeling
that come from your loss. With this technique, you will be able to remember
your partner without having to get stuck in painful feelings. With this insight
and ability, you are free to stay in touch with your feelings and complete
the healing process.
Rating: 5
Summary: A wonderful guide, worth reading and rereading
Comment: Many books about divorce get as far as "this is a trauma" and "don't hurt the kids," and maybe give you the standard "positive thinking" advice -
but this book goes into emotional machinery, and how to really grow and not just cope.
There is much more to this book than a quick blurb can suggest, but one main point is: There are four negative emotions which need to be recognized in dealing with a major loss. These are fear, anger, sadness, and sorrow (grieving for hopes that are now impossible). It is easy to get stuck in one or two of these four, but the one of these we are not aware of is likely to be the hidden hook which is holding us back.
He also has a great many practical observations about ways rebounding men and women injure ourselves and others - the first one is that men tend to get involved too soon, and women too late.
This is a pop-psychology/self-help book, but don't underrate it - it's got enough to say (at least for divorced people) that I've reread it three times in the last month.
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Title: Mars and Venus on a Date: A Guide for Navigating the 5 Stages of Dating to Create a Loving and Lasting Relationship by John Gray ISBN: 006093221X Publisher: Perennial Pub. Date: 01 July, 1999 List Price(USD): $13.00 |
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Title: Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want in Your Relationships by John Gray ISBN: 006016848X Publisher: HarperCollins Pub. Date: 23 April, 1993 List Price(USD): $25.00 |
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Title: Mars and Venus in the Bedroom : Guide to Lasting Romance and Passion, A by John Gray ISBN: 0060927933 Publisher: Perennial Pub. Date: 29 January, 1997 List Price(USD): $13.00 |
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Title: Mars and Venus Together Forever: Relationship Skills for Lasting Love by John Gray ISBN: 0060926619 Publisher: Perennial Pub. Date: 14 February, 1996 List Price(USD): $13.00 |
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Title: Letting Go: A 12-Week Personal Action Program to Overcome a Broken Heart by Zev Wanderer, Tracy Cabot ISBN: 0440147301 Publisher: Dell Pub. Date: 01 August, 1987 List Price(USD): $7.50 |
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