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Title: Facing Love Addiction : Giving Yourself the Power to Change the Way You Love by Pia Mellody, Andrea Wells Miller ISBN: 0-06-250604-8 Publisher: Harper SanFrancisco Pub. Date: 03 July, 1992 Format: Paperback Volumes: 1 List Price(USD): $16.95 |
Average Customer Rating: 4.58 (19 reviews)
Rating: 4
Summary: Gr8 for diagnosing your prob. Vague about recovery tools
Comment: I am greatful to have found this book for diagnosis sake, but I don't feel equipped to conquer the problem based solely on the tools that Melody outlined. The book is essentially written in two parts. The first part describes the cycle of love addiction, what causes it, what we as love addicts need, and why what we're doing to meet these needs isn't working and will never work. As I read it, I thought "Finally someome understands me better than I understand myself! I've found help!" But the second half was a let-down. It suggested doing writing assignments, using self-control, keeping a journal and giving your problem up to a higher power. I've written hundreds of pages about my relationship problems and my cooresponding feelings, I keep a journal and I've prayed about this for years and so far it hasn't helped me. It doesn't mean I won't do the assignments she suggests, but I seriously doubt that they alone are going to transform my life. The book further suggests counseling, but doesn't offer suggestions about where to find an expert, and this is not the kind of problem your average therapist is trained to deal with. I know that from 24 years worth of therapy. This book is a wonderful first step, but it's not a do-it-yourself guide to recovery. It doesn't provide you with the tools or the answers beyond the rudimentary situations and questions and it doesn't tell you where to go for more help. (FYI: Melody is on staff at a treatment facility in Arizona, the Meadows, which specializes in treating love addiction, (among other addictions) but she doesn't mention anything about that in the book, including the kind of treatment offered there, which is unfortunate) Still, I would recommend this book to anyone who even thinks they might be a love addict, because after reading it you will know for sure and you will feel more hopeful about your future than you ever have.
Rating: 5
Summary: What Hurts to Read Can Heal You
Comment: Beware to those of us who have emotional scars from childhood that propel us into painful love addictions with the emotionally challenged--this book is painfully accurate and deeply insightful. It's as valuable for "love addicts" as for "avoidance addicts." Best suggestion from the book: recognize the addiction and take time to center yourself. Best suggestion of all: Buy this book and keep it on your shelf, however painful it may be to face self-abuse, or abusive behavior toward your lover. Corny conclusion: The world would be a better place if more people knew from this book how we hurt each other.
Rating: 5
Summary: Very nice work!
Comment: I think this book provides us with some very nice explanations of how and why we develop certain types of interpersonal tendencies. It clearly explains how we become love addicts or avoidance addicts and how these we develop codependent relationships. It is very insightful and inspiring since most of us have a love addict and avoidance addict in us to varying extents. Although this is true in most psychotherapy literature, I believe that codependence should be conceptualized more broadly because it occurrs in various levels and it manifests itself in a much wider variety of ways (not just between love and avoidance addicts). An excellent book that gives us a more comprehensive explanation of this is "The Ever-Transcending Spirit" by Toru Sato. It is a fabulous book on relationships and personal development that I can't say enough about.
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Title: Facing Codependence : What It Is, Where It Comes from, How It Sabotages Our Lives by Pia Mellody, Andrea Wells Miller ISBN: 0062505890 Publisher: Harper SanFrancisco Pub. Date: 14 June, 1989 List Price(USD): $16.95 |
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Title: Breaking Free : A Recovery Handbook for Facing Codependence by Pia Mellody, Andrea Wells Miller ISBN: 0062505904 Publisher: Harper SanFrancisco Pub. Date: 13 December, 1989 List Price(USD): $18.00 |
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Title: The Intimacy Factor : The Ground Rules for Overcoming the Obstacles to Truth, Respect, and Lasting Love by Pia Mellody, Lawrence S. Freundlich ISBN: 0060095776 Publisher: Harper SanFrancisco Pub. Date: 27 May, 2003 List Price(USD): $24.95 |
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Title: How to Break Your Addiction to a Person : When and Why Love Doesn't Work, and What to Do About It by Howard Halpern ISBN: 0553260057 Publisher: Bantam Pub. Date: 01 July, 1983 List Price(USD): $7.50 |
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Title: Is It Love or Is It Addiction by Brenda, Ph.D. Schaeffer ISBN: 1568381409 Publisher: Hazelden Information Education Pub. Date: October, 1997 List Price(USD): $15.00 |
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