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Title: The Mask of Motherhood: How Becoming a Mother Changes Our Lives and Why We Never Talk About It by Susan Maushart ISBN: 0-14-029178-4 Publisher: Penguin Books Pub. Date: 01 May, 2000 Format: Paperback Volumes: 1 List Price(USD): $12.95 |
Average Customer Rating: 3.87 (31 reviews)
Rating: 5
Summary: Slightly depressing, but definitely worth reading
Comment: Susan Maushart tells it like it is--everything from how labor KILLS to how basically impossible it is to combine a career and motherhood (that is, you can do it, but you can't do both equally well and without a lot of pain), to how a good marriage and parenthood pretty much don't go together.
I'm oversimplifying what she has so painstakingly researched and written of course--the book is eloquent and thorough. Her theme throughout is not how terrible motherhood is, but what a monumental and difficult achievement it is, and how women need to not be afraid to tell it like it is, so mothers around the world can get recognition and validation for their experiences (and not feel like they are crazy). I think she opens up some terribly important arguments, issues that have been kept way too quiet. And it does alot to validate mothers who might otherwise be thinking "Am I the only one feeling this way?" For these reasons, it's definitely worth reading.
As a warning, though, I found the book's tone a bit pessimistic by the time I got through the 200+ pages. I think Maushart takes it for granted that we KNOW motherhood is a joy, a meaningful experience, so she doesn't spend alot of time elaborating on the merits of motherhood. Most of the writing is, instead, on the fallouts of motherhood--the alarming rate of mental illness among new mothers, the depressing statistics of even liberated men who don't help out, etc. When there are exceptions--women who coast through labor, or men who help out equally--she makes it sound as if they are the "oddballs" (an actual word she uses in that context) and that this is not something you should realistically hope for. So especially if you're not a mom, it's easy to finish the book feeling, "God, motherhood sounds awful!" even though you know this is not her point.
A more upbeat and lighthearted (and balanced) book on the joys and agonies of motherhood is the Girlfriend's Guide to Surviving Your First Year of Motherhood.
Rating: 5
Summary: Thinking mother's must-read
Comment: Are you a new mother who finds yourself feeling angry all the time? Are you having a hard time reconciling Motherhood into your self-concept? Read this book! Basically a sociology book, "The Mask of Motherhood" explores the reasons why this generation - the 30 and 40 somethings - are having the most difficult time in history adjusting to the demands of parenting. Like it or not, we are the unwilling guinea pigs of the Feminist Experiment. We are the first generation raised to expect much more out of life than just home and children. Our higher expectations make it tough for us to handle the almost complete sacrifice of self that caring for an infant or small child requires. This book doesn't offer any answers, but the glaringly honest examination of the reasons behind this problem will make you think - and reassure you that you're not the only one feeling this way!
Rating: 2
Summary: Mixed bag...bold ideas but is she unhappy mother!
Comment: Hmm...really displeased with the anti-breastfeeding twist discussed at length. yes, she discusses the brutal and sometimes ugly feelings of mothering, but it is one-sided. Not one mention of a happy mother or women plesaed with their parenting choices. She's almost anti-female in some of the concepts. Just because no one has presented these ideas before doesn't make them real or true for the majority of mothers. Her unique and personal "mask" of motherhood is atypical and does not represent most modern women today. Not empowering, although cleverly done and presented in an adequate writing style. Would not recommend it or pass it on to other mommy's.
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