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Title: I Don't Have to Make Everything All Better : Six Practical Principles That Empower Others to Their Own Problems While Enriching Your Own Relationships by Gary B. Lundberg, Alan Sklar ISBN: 0-14-086898-4 Publisher: Viking Penguin Audio Pub. Date: May, 1999 Format: Audio Cassette Volumes: 2 List Price(USD): $19.95 |
Average Customer Rating: 4.75 (16 reviews)
Rating: 5
Summary: The Best Relationship Book I've Ever Read!
Comment: I Don't Have To Make Everything All Better, the title caught my eye as I browsed through an airport bookstore. The first thought that came to my mind was, "I wish that were true." At the time I was heavy with personal and relationship issues and the title made me curious so I bought the book. As I read this book over the next couple of days issues in my relationships became amazingly clear. I kept thinking, "Yes, yes, this is it! This is what I need to be applying in my marriage and in all my relationships!" Each page seemed incredibly simple and practical and, at the same time, profound and powerful. As I took in the content, I first thought about myself and my relationships, especially my relationship with my wife and kids. Then I thought about everyone I knew and worked with. I have worked with people one on one and in small groups for the past 18 years, and I kept thinking, "Everyone needs this book!" The principles in this book hit right at the heart of relationships. The Lundbergs insightfully reveal that all of us need to know that we are of worth, that we matter to those around us. We all want to be valued and listened to. However most people don't feel listened to. Most of us don't listen well to others, even the people we love the most. Instead of listening most of us tend to think about our own situation or problems, or we begin to formulate well meaning "advice" we can give to "fix" that person. In so doing we inevitably invalidate that person and begin a process of negative relating for everyone involved. In contrast, the Lundbergs present 6 very simple, practical principles that, when applied, will empower the people and relationships we care about. In a nutshell they practically demonstrate that when we listen - when we truely listen to those we care about, without becoming defensive or thinking about how to "fix" them, we in essence validate them. When people feel validated they are empowered to solve their own struggles and problems with you walking beside them. My wife had told me for years that I did not "validate" her experience, her emotions, her opinions. After reading this book I finally knew what she meant. I meant well by trying to encourage and give advice, but I had never truely listened to her. Once I began applying the principles in this book I felt freed up from always trying to "fix" her and she felt empowered and respected more fully by me. In the work that I do I have literally read 100's of books in the past 18 years - most of them dealing with relationships and leadership. This is the best book I have read on either topic! Get this book, read it, apply it, and share it with others! Dan Christensen
Rating: 5
Summary: Validation has changed my life
Comment: Validation has changed my life. I have just finished reading "You Don't Have To Make It All Better", It is one of those "I'd wished I'd know it then", things. I have a difficult 17 year old, validation has literally given us back a relationship. I also taught the concept to my 21 year old son and his girlfriend in their struggling relationship. I saw a difference in their attitudes over night. I can't begin to share with you all the stories that validation has given to me. Thank you so much for your efforts in writing the book and bringing to light what I have found to be truth.
Rating: 5
Summary: Changed my life
Comment: This book is great.
Easy to read, practical, with very concrete advice that WORKS immediately!
You can start applying the suggestions right away and reap the benefits.
It worked with my 3 year old son and my 60 year old father. It's going to really enhance the relationship I have with my son.
No kidding! Depending on your personality type, if you are experiencing some stress & communication problems in your relationships, buy this book right away. It could do miracles for you too.
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Title: Bonds That Make Us Free: Healing Our Relationships, Coming to Ourselves by C. Terry Warner ISBN: 1573459194 Publisher: Shadow Mountain Pub. Date: September, 2001 List Price(USD): $19.95 |
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Title: Married: For Better, Not Worse: The Fourteen Secrets to a Happy Marriage by Gary Lundburg, Joy Lundburg, Gary B. Lundberg, Joy Saunders Lundberg ISBN: 0142000876 Publisher: Penguin USA (Paper) Pub. Date: 28 May, 2002 List Price(USD): $14.00 |
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Title: Raising Children You Can Live With: A Guide for Frustrated Parents by Jamie B. Raser, Cynthia Burtch ISBN: 1886298114 Publisher: Bayou Publishing Pub. Date: 01 April, 1999 List Price(USD): $14.95 |
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Title: Discovering Your Natural Talents; How to Love What You Do and Do What You Love by John Bradley, Russ Korth, Jay Carty ISBN: 0891093958 Publisher: Navpress Pub. Date: January, 1994 List Price(USD): $13.00 |
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Title: There's a Hole in My Sidewalk: The Romance of Self-Discovery by Portia Nelson ISBN: 0941831876 Publisher: Beyond Words Publising Pub. Date: March, 1994 List Price(USD): $7.95 |
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