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Love Relations: Normality and Pathology

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Title: Love Relations: Normality and Pathology
by Otto F. Kernberg
ISBN: 0-300-07435-2
Publisher: Yale Univ Pr
Pub. Date: March, 1998
Format: Paperback
Volumes: 1
List Price(USD): $18.00
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Average Customer Rating: 4.5 (4 reviews)

Customer Reviews

Rating: 5
Summary: Both useful and profound
Comment: In lively, vivid clinical examples, this book validates Freudian-derived object-relations concepts brilliantly. Erotic forces and the conflicts they engender powerfully shape personality, relationships, and experience of life.The serious student of humanity will find in these pages enlightenment and depth.

Rating: 5
Summary: Brave, Brilliant, Not Always Convincing
Comment: Kernberg goes where psychotherapy fears to tread. By continuing -- mostly convincingly -- to find Freudian thought useful, he eschews the naive humanism one might argue embodied by people like Erich Fromm and Karen Horney.

Whenever one wants to dismiss his insistence on, what at times seems like obsession with, theoretical constructs like castration anxiety and penis envy, when he gets to the meat and potatoes of his theory, he convinces. Anyone who has sensed a strange pattern or a strange logic in particularly exciting and frustrating sexual relationships will find a lot to comfort him here. I'd recommend this book to lay readers who have generally strong egos but find that, in sexual areas, their lives don't make sense, their relationships at a much lower level of functioning than the other parts of their lives.

If you have trouble integrating sexuality into your life and relationships, and have a general grasp, and affection for, psychoanalytic topics, you will find this book useful. Kernberg's naievete shows in the obstinacy of his writing, but while one might wish for a clearer explication, it's also clear he's not writing for a general audience. He leaves little room for disagreement, but it could also be argued that the strength of his convictions is what allows for such original and at times disturbing insight.

My gut tells me Kernberg's right more than he's wrong. The bleakness of his vision has integrity, and the hard lessons he seeks to teach are worth heeding.

Rating: 5
Summary: relationships on the couch
Comment: An excellent book on relationships from a Freudean perspective. People without any background in the jargon will find it slow reading, but it is a lean book. For the average person, they won't benefit from it until they have been burned in relationships with people that have emotional problems, but for folks that have been around the block once or twice, much of this book will be startlingly clear. Freud is like scotch - you appreciate more as you get older. Also, this book explains why a person may have a satisfactory sex life in college during a period of rebellion, but then "settle down" to a loveless marriage with someone who will take turns acting like the guilty, pouting destructive child and the punishing, negligent parent rather than an autonomous adult.

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