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Title: The Best Little Boy in the World by John Reid, Andrew Tobias ISBN: 0-345-38176-9 Publisher: Ballantine Books Pub. Date: 11 May, 1993 Format: Paperback Volumes: 1 List Price(USD): $13.95 |
Average Customer Rating: 3.95 (22 reviews)
Rating: 5
Summary: Things are not always as they seem...
Comment: When I first read this book, the author was listed as John Reid. Originally written in 1973, it is understandable that, at that time, anyone who wanted to have a 'real career' couldn't risk exposure to the general public as being gay, even when trying to make the point that being gay is not the deplorable plight it is sometimes (even today) commonly held to be.
The book has since been revised, both with a supplemental volume entitled 'The Best Little Boy in the World Grows Up', as well as being reissued in its original form (with minor modifications), as being authored by Andrew Tobias. Twenty-five years had passed, and Tobias had a career that was secure enough, and society had changed enough, that he felt he could lend his true name to the cover of the text.
This book is a coming out tale. Slowly but surely, while taking great pains to conceal the truth, Tobias lived the model life. Raised in an upper-middle class family that met all the criteria for statistical happiness, Tobias was himself an all-American, boy-next-door type who was good at school, good at sports, respectful of elders, always fulfilling expectations. What better closet in which to hide save that of being successfully normal, and a normal success?
Tobias confides his agonising attempts to masquerade as 'normal' - his time at Yale, with roommates who expected him to be as interested in girlfriends as they and any other 'normal' 20 year old male should be. Sometimes humourous but somewhat painful to read, his unrequited love for one of his roommates while having to pretend at carrying on relationships with women, made for strange bedfellows indeed (if you'll forgive the pun).
As he grew older, he grew bolder, perhaps out of desperation, perhaps out of frustration. Perhaps it was just being tired of being alone in the universe, which is often how he felt - alone with his feeling, unable to share anything truthful.
Finally, Tobias began revealing himself to ever-wider circles of friends, and generally fell 'into a bad crowd', considering the Best Little Boy in the World (for which he uses the acronym BLBITW in mocking self-reference) had never even smoked a cigarette. Drugs, alcohol, all fueled by a high-paying job that helped him keep his cover.
Tobias was in the process of running from society and running from himself, i.e., the image he had constructed for himself of who he thought he should be, based on societal norms. He hurt a lot of people along the way, which is unfortunate, but perhaps no more in reality than any of us do in our various ways without being aware of the consequences of our actions?
Tobias was better known (until his revelation of authorship of this volume) as an author of financial self-help books, investment and insurance texts, and other such professional writings. Thankfully he is able to be honest enough (not the least of which, with himself) that he can claim authorship of 'The Best Little Boy in the World' -- in a world where conformity is encouraged by adults and enforced by peers, this book stands as a revelation of the turmoil that one may go through for a 'difference', even when all outward appearances speak to the contrary.
Rating: 4
Summary: The life some wish they could have
Comment: I finally read this book after being out of the closet for five years and I found it to be a very interesting look into ones man struggle with his sexuality and coming out.
At times it mimicked mine and at others I was like "I wish"..
It is interesting that Mr. Tobias chose to write this book during a time when it was not safe for your life or your career to come out of the closet.. For that I will give him kudos!! On the other hand this book shows the "lighter" side of the coming out process.. (not to belittle the personal horror we all go through).. Andrew is a lucky man to be surrounded by people who are supportive.. Alot of us do not have that suport.. I wish he would have followed this book up with one on another man's life.. maybe one of those that did not have such a charmed life?
Rating: 4
Summary: Still Growing...
Comment: I really enjoyed this book when it came out (no pun....).If you're looking for the gay mans Bible, this is not it. It does not necessarily have the dignity of Paul Monette, nor the "perfect love" of "The Front Runner." It is simply one mans quite amusing take on his growing awareness of being gay. I see alot of people are ready to stone Andrew Tobias for what they perceive as his hypocrisy. On the contrary, he was honest enough to admit his, at times, somewhat shallow and cavalier attitude. It's always easier to say what everyone wants to hear, he simply told it as it was. I find I don't have to agree with EVERY thought or viewpoint a person has in order to maybe learn something, or, at the very least, be entertained by them. While Andrew Tobias may have personality flaws (who doesn't ?), I hardly see him as the self-hating, superficial, elitist snob that some are trying to paint him as. He is simply a HUMAN BEING, just like a real person!! There's rainbow flag waving politically active gays, and ones who lead a quieter but no less meaningful life. That is their right to make that choice about what they're comfortable with. I know one thing, I have found gay people, no matter where they lie on that scale, to band together and be supportive of each other when need be. Yes, in the gay world, as in the "normal" world (whatever that is), there is a segment who are very image conscious. So what? Hey, sometimes life ain't fair. If you're going to hate everyone who had a more priviledged upbringing than you, and is "prettier", than the majority of us would be miserable ALL the time. On a scale of one to ten, I'm probably a five, maybe a six on a REALLY good day. The chances of a Ten wanting to go out with me are probably non-existant, IF I was ever to give it a thought, which I don't. I mean, really, who cares? And if memory serves, I remember him describing himself in this book as "cute" at best, with varying good days and bad days. Sorry if I'm getting away from the subject of the book, but I found all the personal attacks on this book unwarranted. You'd think Andrew Tobias was Charles Manson. He's not. He's just a funny and very smart guy, and this book is just ONE mans perspective about the almost always difficult process of coming to terms with being gay, which, at the time he did it, was even more difficult and unacceptable. If you know who you are and what you're about, this one mans funny and touching story should not offend. I will say, in the sequal to this book, "The Best Little Boy In The World Grows Up", which, by the way, he had written without using the pseudonym "John Reid", as in the first book, he had made progress in his awareness of self, and in the quality of his personal life. I mean, he's cute AND gives good financial advice... what's so bad about THAT ??
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Title: The Best Little Boy in the World Grows Up by Andrew Tobias ISBN: 0345423798 Publisher: Ballantine Books Pub. Date: 07 December, 1999 List Price(USD): $12.00 |
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Title: Farm Boys: Lives of Gay Men from the Rural Midwest by Will Fellows ISBN: 0299150844 Publisher: University of Wisconsin Press Pub. Date: 01 March, 2001 List Price(USD): $19.95 |
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Title: Boys Like Us by Patrick Merla ISBN: 0380788357 Publisher: Avon Pub. Date: 01 October, 1997 List Price(USD): $14.95 |
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Title: Becoming a Man : Half a Life Story by Paul Monette ISBN: 0062507249 Publisher: Harper SanFrancisco Pub. Date: 11 June, 1993 List Price(USD): $15.00 |
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Title: Virtually Normal by Andrew Sullivan ISBN: 0679746145 Publisher: Vintage Pub. Date: 17 September, 1996 List Price(USD): $12.95 |
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