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Title: Reviving Ophelia : Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls by Mary Pipher ISBN: 0-345-39282-5 Publisher: Ballantine Books Pub. Date: 14 February, 1995 Format: Paperback Volumes: 1 List Price(USD): $14.95 |
Average Customer Rating: 4.14 (270 reviews)
Rating: 5
Summary: read this if you were ever 12 years old
Comment: I wish I could give this book more than 5 stars.
I read Reviving Ophelia when it first came out in 1995 and again recently ... each time I am unable to put it down. Pipher interviews many different women from all walks of life trying to pinpoint WHY girls who were active, happy, confident before the crucial age of 12 suddenly become unhappy, confused, have low self-esteem, etc. What she uncovers is the dirty secrets you will never read in the columns of YM or Teen.
(Are the girls in those magazines real? I can't help thinking their letters are edited till it looks like there is no real problem there. That happened to me the one time I wrote in to a woman's magazine ---- two months ago! And then you don't need the advice because no one cares about the new sanitized problem.)
Pipher also gives suggestions to the various girls to solve their problems and gain self-esteem in the process. This is a great book that should have been written when Eve was put on this Earth and then revised when the second woman appeared -- and published in a new edition every few years afterwards. It just explains so much --- and makes the reader relieved that it ISN'T just you who doesn't like being in junior high.
Rating: 5
Summary: Sadly, very insightful
Comment: I read this book two years ago, but I feel I can still add to this debate. I encourage the teenage girls who read this book and were offended by the not-so-pretty picture it paints to go back in a few years and read it again. When I was 15 and 16, I also had no doubt that I was absolutely in control of my life. I could not see the larger forces at work, influencing the way I interacted with my friends, my parents, my boyfriend and the unrealistic demands I placed on myself. When you drive yourself to be perfect, you set yourself up to fall. By the time I read Reviving Ophelia my junior year in college, I was coping with anorexia, depression, obsessive-compulsive behaviors and sexual promiscuity. Ophelia showed me how my experiences in junior high and high school had left scars on my soul that manifested themselves when I was 21. I dealt with it. Girls, examine your lives and your motives. Learn from your past. Love yourself. And to those who bemoan Pipher's lack of neat little answers: Life is not a 30-minute sitcom. There are no hard and fast answers to problems as complex as these. Awareness is the first step, and that's what Pipher was trying to do in this book, not solve a centuries-old problem in a few pages. And if you think this book was repetitious, then you weren't paying attention.
Rating: 5
Summary: Reviewing Ophelia
Comment: In Reviving Ophelia, Dr. Mary Pipher (1994), clinical psychologist, presents problems faced by American adolescent females in the 1990's. Rather than blaming the malfunctions of adolescents on the institution of the family, Pipher suggests that these problems are manifestations of growing up in a culture that sends mixed messages to its children. Pipher presents a variety of case examples which include substance addictions, abuse, divorce, and peer pressure; however, the basis of her ideas infer that the most prominent issue adolescent girls must confront is the competition between the authentic self and the self which she feels impelled to generate in order to fit into what the Western culture anticipates. Pipher's observations suggest that it is difficult for an adolescent girl to be true to herself while, at the same time, feminizing herself to fit into larger cultural expectations. While this rejection of the self and false feminization is a problem for these young women, they are often unable, or even unwilling, to identify it as a source for their troubles.
According to Pipher (1994, p. 41), most adolescent girls will state that they are not feminists if they are directly asked. Pipher concludes that, to these young women, "feminism" is a negative term-a term that may be compared to "communism" or "fascism" in their minds. However, if these same young women are asked whether or not they believe that women should have equal rights to men, they will inevitably concede that they certainly should. Pipher continues her explanation by pointing out that sexual harassment and sexual biases occur in educational facilities. The same young women who agree that women and men should have equal rights do not take note of these fallacies. Unfortunately, adolescent girls do not see this problem because they have become socialized to it. These wrongdoings are an every-day occurrence in their lives.
Though Pipher (1994, pp. 74-100) indicates that the culture is the most problematic cause of malfunctions in the adolescent female population, she does note the importance of the family as well. For example, she mentions the double standard of parenting prominent in Western civilization. Pipher discusses the comparison of how a teenage girl's relationship with her father and with her mother is viewed by society. An adolescent girl's relationship with her father is viewed as productive and growth-oriented, while a relationship with her mother is viewed as barren and growth-stunting. Fathers are commended for their involvement with their children while mothers are admonished for being overprotective. In all reality, an adolescent girl needs a close relationship with one or both of her parents. This stage of development may be one of the most awkward and difficult stages to conquer.
Pipher (1994, p. 80) is careful to note that the "traditional family" is not in existence. In fact, family types are as diverse as Western civilization itself. It is important to identify the structure of the family because it has a profound affect on the individual. Furthermore, relationships within the family will vary according to its structure. For example, a girl who grows up in a single-parent family will most likely assign her parent with roles that are common to both the mother and the father. Because of this, stereotypes of mother-daughter and father-daughter relationships may no longer be viewed the same. In this regard, divorce and the deterioration of the "traditional family" may actually help to produce a generation of young women who do not abide by the "rules" that guide maternal and paternal relationships with their adolescents.
Reviving Ophelia provides an image of our culture and how it affects the lives of our adolescents. Dr. Pipher's work also accosts the many problems within our society that need to be remedied. It is certainly recommended that parents of teenage daughters read and understand Dr. Pipher's ideas; however, because adolescents' lives affect what our society is and what it will become, the comprehension of her work is necessary for all.
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Title: Ophelia Speaks : Adolescent Girls Write About Their Search for Self by Sara Shandler ISBN: 0060952970 Publisher: Perennial Pub. Date: 01 June, 1999 List Price(USD): $12.95 |
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Title: Raising Cain : Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys by Ph.D. Michael Thompson, Ph.D. Dan Kindlon ISBN: 0345434854 Publisher: Ballantine Books Pub. Date: 04 April, 2000 List Price(USD): $15.00 |
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Title: Surviving Ophelia: Mothers Share Their Wisdom in Navigating the Tumultuous Teenage Years by Cheryl Dellasega, Ph.D. Cheryl Dellasega ISBN: 0738205087 Publisher: Perseus Publishing Pub. Date: 18 September, 2001 List Price(USD): $25.00 |
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Title: Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls by Rachel Simmons ISBN: 0156027348 Publisher: Harvest Books Pub. Date: 01 April, 2003 List Price(USD): $14.00 |
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Title: Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and Other Realities of Adolescence by Rosalind Wiseman ISBN: 1400047927 Publisher: Three Rivers Press Pub. Date: 04 March, 2003 List Price(USD): $14.95 |
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