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Title: Since Strangling Isn't an Option...: Dealing With Difficult People-Common Problems and Uncommon Solutions by Sandra A. Crowe ISBN: 0-399-52540-8 Publisher: Perigee Pub. Date: October, 1999 Format: Paperback Volumes: 1 List Price(USD): $13.95 |
Average Customer Rating: 3.86 (7 reviews)
Rating: 5
Summary: Good book
Comment: You should really read this no matter what your disposition. Everyone gets to a point when they want to strangle someone, the title in itself tells how light hearted this book is about a very oppressive subject. Controlling your anger is something most would like to avoid. I advocate this book during my workshops. Take the time to get this one and read it.
Rating: 4
Summary: Good read
Comment: I saw this book in a friend's bathroom and decided to buy a copy for myself. I found it to be pretty informative, but not in a monotone/lecturing way. Very helpful. A nice addition to my future library!
Rating: 4
Summary: Need a fresh perspective ???
Comment: In a market flooded with advice on interpersonal relationships and the conflicts inherent in relationships, Crowe's book is refreshing in its common-sense approach.
Part I, "Fundamentals of Understanding", focuses on understanding what makes difficult people so hard to deal with. The key is to recognize the difficult person's behavior and our reaction to it. The most thought-provoking question in this segment is "Do we attempt to change difficult people, or do we change our expectations of them. 'Difficult' is an opinion. We base our assessment of a person on our observations and expectations, and what we see as difficult, another may see as straightforward or decisive. Sometimes we have to step away from a problem, take a break to get some perspective.
Part II deals with "Personality Types and Patterns of Behavior." It categorizes different personalities by relating them to animals. The concept may be overused, but the content still has validity. There are nine types of difficult personalities. On the aggressive side, we have the lizard, who complains about everything. Crowe's advice is to steer them away from problems and into solutions. It may be impossible to completely stop complainers, but you can certainly stop them from taking up your valuable time. In the passive group, we have the donkey, who stays rooted in one place until forcibly led away - frozen, afraid to make a move. The challenge is to empower them to take some action on their own. Crowe's suggestion is to offer a set of choices, outlining the likely outcome, then let them choose. If their decision is unwise, hopefully they will learn from it. If their decision is a winner, they will gain confidence and hopefully break out of their passive mold.
In Part III, "Tools and Recipes" Crowe offers ways to deal with the difficult personalities that she has outlined. One technique mentioned is "Verbal Aikido." Aikido is a martial art in which the momentum of the attacker is used against them. Verbal aikido is the technique of redirecting a conversation with a difficult person in the direction you want it to go. Sample verbiage includes "Here are your options.." and "You make the choice." The advice is sound, although it may be hard to put into practice initially. Difficult people generally won't be boxed into making a choice, because then who would take the blame? That's exactly Crowe's point - let them decide, and then learn from the outcome.
This book offers simple understandable explanations of some common problems, ands some innovative ways to deal with them. I would recommend it to anyone needing a fresh perspective on interpersonal problems, especially in the workplace.
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Title: Dealing With People You Can't Stand by Rick Brinkman, Rick Kirschner ISBN: 0070078386 Publisher: McGraw-Hill/Contemporary Books Pub. Date: 01 August, 1994 List Price(USD): $12.95 |
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Title: 201 Ways to Deal With Difficult People (Quick-Tip Survival Guides) by Alan Axelrod, Jim Holtje, James Holtje ISBN: 0070062188 Publisher: McGraw-Hill/Contemporary Books Pub. Date: 01 May, 1997 List Price(USD): $10.95 |
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Title: Coping with Difficult People by Ph.D. Robert M. Bramson ISBN: 0440202019 Publisher: Dell Pub. Date: 01 September, 1988 List Price(USD): $7.50 |
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Title: Thank You for Being Such a Pain : Spiritual Guidance for Dealing with Difficult People by Mark Rosen ISBN: 0609804146 Publisher: Crown Publishing Group Pub. Date: 27 April, 1999 List Price(USD): $14.00 |
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Title: Jerks at Work: How to Deal With People Problems and Problem People by Ken Lloyd, Kenneth L. Lloyd ISBN: 1564143961 Publisher: Career Press Pub. Date: March, 1999 List Price(USD): $15.99 |
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