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Title: Stop Being Manipulated: How to Neutralize the Bullies, Bosses, and Brutes in Your Life by George H. Green, Carolyn Cotter ISBN: 0425146863 Publisher: Berkley Pub Group Pub. Date: April, 1995 Format: Mass Market Paperback Volumes: 1 List Price(USD): $6.99 |
Average Customer Rating: 3
Rating: 3
Summary: Good advice, but hard to follow
Comment: Coercive manipulation is at heart an appeal to the emotions. It's hard not to simply react in the face of this. Still, the book is fairly short, well laid out, and deals with keeping one's integrity in the face of guilt and intimidation.
Because manipulation is so much a part of the fabric of our society, this book is a good first step in learning how to break free of conditioned response. I'd advise the serious reader to get some books on NLP, ego-transcendance or Gurdjieff.
Rating: 4
Summary: Good Advice
Comment: I like the authors' advice. Typed up the steps so I can more easily refer to them and learn them without having to sift through all those pages again.
I did get really, really tired of going over the stories of the example-people. Enough already! Just give me the facts.
The advice was good and usable, but the book didn't need to be THAT long and drawn out.
Rating: 1
Summary: I wouldn't recommend this book.
Comment: The authors include stories of several individuals and refer to these situations throughout the book using a somewhat cumbersome and confusing organization. But far more troubling is the sense that the individuals included in the case studies were supposedly seeking help in dealing with the manipulators in their lives, yet I had the feeling that these individuals were such skilled manipulators themselves, they had manipulated the authors. These individuals seemed far more likely to be the perpetrators of manipulation rather than the victims, and seemed to be seeking justification for their mind-games.
For instance, the subject of one case study works as a clerk at a return desk and complains that angry customers try to manipulate him. The authors offer some suggestions for him in what he might say to an angry customer, yet these suggestions seem like a way to perpetuate mind-games and power struggles (and get himself fired). I found myself wondering what would be so wrong about addressing the customer's complaint by saying, "I'm sorry your purchase was not satisfactory, would you like an exchange or a refund?" yet this was never mentioned as an alternative.
In another situation, a grown woman went to work every day dressed "really, really cute" so that she looked like a 14-year-old, and even wore pink ribbons in her hair, and because her coworkers teased her about her appearance she felt manipulated. The authors suggest various mind-games she might play with her coworkers, but never broached the issue of going to work dressed in appropriate attire for the business environment. I couldn't help thinking that the teasing would end if the woman would simply leave the pink ribbons at home. But then again, the author thought that the woman was "really, really cute" and would have been oh so disappointed to see her "manipulated" into dressing like an adult. He would much prefer that she continue to be "really, really cute."
If you want to be an annoyance and a pain to everyone you come in contact with, and if you want to escalate every conflict in your life, the "helpful" instructions in this book can help you achieve those goals. If you want healthy interactions with other people, there are far better books available.
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Title: In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing With Manipulative People by George K., Jr. Simon ISBN: 096516960X Publisher: A.J. Christopher Pub. Date: December, 1996 List Price(USD): $15.95 |
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Title: The Bully at Work: What You Can Do to Stop the Hurt and Reclaim Your Dignity on the Job by Gary Namie, Ruth Namie Ph.D ISBN: 1570715343 Publisher: Sourcebooks Trade Pub. Date: May, 2000 List Price(USD): $14.95 |
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Title: Easily Fooled : New Insights and Techniques for Resisting Manipulation by Bob Fellows ISBN: 0962287911 Publisher: Mind Matters, Inc. Pub. Date: 20 March, 2000 List Price(USD): $15.00 |
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Title: Nasty People: How to Stop Being Hurt by Them Without Becoming One of Them by Jay Carter ISBN: 0809244063 Publisher: McGraw-Hill/Contemporary Books Pub. Date: 01 April, 1989 List Price(USD): $7.95 |
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Title: Toxic People: 10 Ways of Dealing With People Who Make Your Life Miserable by Lillian Glass ISBN: 0312152329 Publisher: St. Martin's Press Pub. Date: March, 1997 List Price(USD): $14.95 |
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