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Title: The Gift of Fear by GAVIN DE BECKER ISBN: 0-440-22619-8 Publisher: Dell Pub. Date: 11 May, 1998 Format: Mass Market Paperback Volumes: 1 List Price(USD): $7.50 |
Average Customer Rating: 4.76 (169 reviews)
Rating: 5
Summary: Common Sense Tactics
Comment: The Gift of Fear does take an in-depth look at the pitfalls of celebrity life as well as addressing the dangers of American society. DeBecker paints a grim picture of violence in America, but also states that the media is largely responsible for our anxieties and fears. We hear and see so much violence on television that we are almost desensitized. Our basic instinct is eroding to the point where we can no longer distinguish the difference between real fear and worry. He offers scenarious which illustrate the differences between these two emotions.
He also states that we have a better chance of hurting ourselves than someone else doing it for us. How? We ignore our basic instincts when someone approaches, whose behavior is questionable. The Gift of Fear not only addresses the signals these people throw at us, but tells us how we should handle that person.
In his book, he fictionizes his cases to illustrate how women put themselves in a situation where they beaten, raped, stalked, and murdered. At the end, he summarizes how they could have avoided their snag. He points out that the police and judicial system offer little to help these women once they are in this situation. I, myself, have heard about this scenario many times.
What got to me was a thirteen year-old boy, named Eric. He and his mother had their luggage stolen while on vacation. The hotel manager was very helpful and 'nice'. He was so nice that he made a special trip across the country to see this boy. In short, he was a sexual predator. Fortunately for Eric, his mother was put off by this man. Out of all the stories recounted in this book, this one gave me chills.
Again, DeBecker lists the danger signs that we should watch out for and the common sense tactics of avoiding these criminals. At the back of the book, is a list of agencies who help battered women and children cope and survive. I would recommend this book for everyone.
Rating: 5
Summary: A sensible lesson in safety
Comment: Like many other women, I was raised to be unfailingly polite -- no matter when, where or to who. Gavin De Becker advises another route: It's better to be rude than dead.
One of the main points he hammers home is how often women, afraid of being rude or hurting someone's feelings, allow themselves to get into dangerous situations. I can't count how many times I've done it: The guy at a party who says, "Come over here -- there's a guy who says he knows you." The man who approaches you on the street and says, "Hey, baby, you have a boyfriend?"
De Becker also urges us to listen to our inner voice -- the one that says "something here is wrong." Too often, we tell ourselves, "I'm sure he's a perfectly nice man. There's nothing to worry about."
Also important is the chapter on how potential rapists/murders approach victims. The author explains how an attacker tries to get a victim to feel comfortable with him and thus make herself vulnerable.
Of course, there are also plenty of practical safety tips in here. (For example: Don't accept help from someone who approaches you. If you need it, ask for it: The chances of an attacker singling you out are far greater than vice versa.)
Rating: 5
Summary: Intuition at its best
Comment: This is a book I think every woman (and man, too) should read. I wish I'd read it years ago. The insight it gives is valuable in a great many situations. It is a fantastic resource, and a book I know I will read again.
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Title: Protecting the Gift : Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe (and Parents Sane) by Gavin De Becker ISBN: 0440509009 Publisher: Dell Pub. Date: 09 May, 2000 List Price(USD): $11.95 |
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Title: Fear Less: Real Truth About Risk, Safety, and Security in a Time of Terrorism by Gavin de Becker, Gavin de Becker ISBN: 0316085960 Publisher: Little Brown & Company Pub. Date: 04 January, 2002 List Price(USD): $19.95 |
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Title: Beauty Bites Beast: Awakening the Warrior Within Women and Girls by Ellen B. Snortland ISBN: 0971144702 Publisher: Lightning Source Pub. Date: August, 2001 List Price(USD): $16.95 |
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Title: Be Alert, Be Aware, Have a Plan: The Complete Guide to Personal Security by Neal Rawls, Sue Kovach ISBN: 1585745774 Publisher: The Lyons Press Pub. Date: 01 April, 2002 List Price(USD): $14.95 |
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Title: Surviving a Stalker: Everything You Need to Know to Keep Yourself Safe by Linden Gross ISBN: 1569246041 Publisher: Marlowe & Company Pub. Date: 29 August, 2000 List Price(USD): $14.95 |
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