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Title: Your Six-Year-Old: Loving and Defiant by Louise Bates Ames, Frances L. Ilg ISBN: 0-440-50674-3 Publisher: DTP Pub. Date: 01 May, 1981 Format: Paperback Volumes: 1 List Price(USD): $12.95 |
Average Customer Rating: 4.2 (5 reviews)
Rating: 4
Summary: Good insights if you can bridge the gap from 1979-2003
Comment: Overall, I liked the book. I was really looking for the 6-year-old version of "What to Expect: The Toddler Years." It didn't go into that degree of detail, but what it did cover was useful. The overriding message is that the time from 6.0-6.5 is volatile and often not much fun. Children are going through a lot of changes, very unsure of themselves, and need lots of reassurance (even when they're misbehaving terribly). The authors make the point that kids at that age typically aren't ready for advanced tutoring in morals, and suggest that simply ignoring a lot of the bad table manners, lying, pilfering, attitude, etc. can be the best approach. They observe that you can typically accomplish the same things better at age 7.
I found the discussion of emotional development, mental development, and physical development -- and how to support each of those -- good background material. The part where I think I made the most mental notes on my personal "to do" list was in the "Techniques" chapter. The authors suggest several general techniques including
1. Praise -- Sixes need more affirmation than other ages and are more fragile
2. Chances -- Say, "you've used up one chance. I'll give you two more chances to do ___"
3. Counting -- Say, "Let's see if you can do this before I count to 10."
4. SIdestep -- change the subject, change mode of interaction, etc.
5. Bargain -- "If you play nicely with your brother until lunch, I'll let you watch Scooby Doo while he's napping."
6. Give in -- think of yourself as modeling the behavior of compromising
7. Isolation -- Good old time out -- physically transporting the 6 to timeout if necessary
8. Ignoring -- Say, "I can't hear whining" or "I can't hear potty talk," i.e., let them know you're ignoring them
9. Not noticing -- just let the little stuff slide because it isn't all that productive at this age to try to reign it in
The book is somewhat dated -- not updated much since 1979 except for some of the recommended reading. This undermines the book cosmetically and to a lesser degree substantively. On the cosmetic level, the authors talk about TV as though shows come on at particular times or you miss them. They talk about being careful with records going onto record players, etc. On a more substantitive level, the roles attributed to fathers and mothers are traditional, with mom at home and dad not all that involved in the kids' lives. They pay lip service to mom's working, but that concept isn't really integrated into the overall discussion very well. Since much of the discussion is about the intensity of 6's relationship with mom, I had to do some reading between the lines to apply those ideas to my situation. Similarly, much of the discussion about 6's dad seems based on the idea that dad is not physically around very much and is not all that accessible even when he's home, which I think is a lot less common today than it was 25 years ago.
Overall, this is a short book (125 pages), and despite being a little dated, I thought it provided numerous good insights.
Rating: 5
Summary: Thanks Gessel Institute!
Comment: The book gave my wife and me an accurate insight on the behavior of our six year old. It seemed like the book was talking about our daughter. We felt very comforted to know that the behavior that we see in our child is not uncommon. We have followed the advice given by the Gessel Institute to avoid and treat tampers. Overall, it is a great guide for parents.
Rating: 4
Summary: Your 6 Year Old
Comment: A classic and must have for parents. It helps to know that you are not alone and going insane when such normal situations occur within your family.
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Title: Your Seven-Year-Old: Life in a Minor Key by Louise Bates Ames, Carol Chase Haber, Frances L. Ilg ISBN: 0440506506 Publisher: Delta Pub. Date: March, 1987 List Price(USD): $12.95 |
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Title: Your Five Year Old: Sunny and Serene by Louise Bates Ames, Frances L. Ilg, Carol C. Haber ISBN: 0440506735 Publisher: Delacorte Press Pub. Date: August, 1995 List Price(USD): $12.95 |
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Title: Your Eight Year Old: Lively and Outgoing by Louise Bates Ames, Carol Chase Haber, Frances L. Ilg ISBN: 0440506816 Publisher: DTP Pub. Date: 01 April, 1990 List Price(USD): $12.95 |
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Title: Your Four-Year-Old: Wild and Wonderful by Frances L. Ilg, Louise Bates Ames, Carol C. Haber ISBN: 0440506751 Publisher: DTP Pub. Date: 1980 List Price(USD): $12.95 |
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Title: Your Three Year Old: Friend or Enemy by Louise Bate Ames, Frances L. Ilg, Louise Bates Ames, Carol C. Haber ISBN: 0440506492 Publisher: Delacorte Press Pub. Date: October, 1980 List Price(USD): $12.95 |
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