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Title: Abused Boys: The Neglected Victims of Sexual Abuse by Mic Hunter ISBN: 0-449-90629-9 Publisher: Ballantine Books Pub. Date: July, 1991 Format: Paperback Volumes: 1 List Price(USD): $12.95 |
Average Customer Rating: 4.7 (10 reviews)
Rating: 3
Summary: Two books - buy it for the first half.
Comment: PERSONAL CRITIQUE: Many reviewers use this space for long-winded self-examination of their lives, rather than to review the quality of the book. This space isn't group therepy. Let's get into the book itself:
I found this title an interesting mix of professional insights and tragic stories with an odd titulating quality.
The first half of the book was an informative entry into what Abuse is. The definitions, as a layperson, was quite an eye-opener. Even subjects such as voyerism can be concidered Abuse when taken to extreems- and I now agree. Yet, one theme is clear. The shame that results from Child Abuse cripples the victum and leads to so many problems. I recommend the first half for those with an eye for helping others and themselves.
The second half, used to illustrate as if with case studies, is questionable. Some of the stories were jouneys of self-discovery, pain and healing. They tear at your heart and Mic's commentaries help share insights that I would miss. Yet I felt I was invading these patient's privacy or, in some cases, the subjects were boasting about their extreem perversity.
One such story was a boy on the farm who was almost proud of how he had forced sex upon other caddies at the golf range, boys on other farms, visitors from the city, animals under his care. He had more than one forced sexual encounter with his father as the preditor. He admitted to having sex five times daily at about 13 and 14 years old. It was as if he derived pleasure from confessing all these infractions in detail and then proclaiming how ashamed he was.
Can someone at that age be an adolecent sexual preditor and not draw attention to themselves publicly? I am sure teachers, police and the golf range managers would have heard something about this in all that time, however he never runs afoul of authority. Later in life, he was incarcerated for a number of child abuse crimes, but I question his ability to stay clear of the law as an adolecent and I question the truthfulness of his confession.
The title has value as a tool for self-examination and process of healing. I think that almost everyone has a story of violation in their childhood, something at school, the swimming pool or playground. For the most part, those episodes have little tramatic impact in our lives as adults. This book is for those who have life-shattering betrayals of trust in their childhoods. However I am concerned about the last half feeding the very behavior that it condemns. Therefore I can only offer a lukewarm recommendation.
Rating: 5
Summary: Abused Boys : The Neglected Victims of Sexual Abuse
Comment: This book is an excelent place to start when either beginning recovery or learning about the effects of sexual abuse of males. It helps one understand the reasons behind certain behaviors. I found myself described in this book many, many times and was relieved to discover how common my behaviors are.
Rating: 5
Summary: This book covers all the bases
Comment: I am a sex offender, a convicted felon for sexually assaulting my son, who purchased this book as part of my painful, earnest search for a full understanding of what I did to this little boy. I've purchased and read a slew of other books, many of which were helpful in giving one grief-filling insight of harm or another, but - hands down - this book by Hunter wraps it all up better than any I've seen. Not only does he cover a wide range of ways men and women abusers set up, groom and intimidate their child victims, but he chronicles all the ways the child victim is psychologically damaged for life, and gives you the clinical terms for the various types of disorders; he makes it clear how counseling/therapy CAN help, but also that there will still be scars for life. He has written this book not only for the since-grown-up victims to read and understand objectively what they have suffered and are still suffering, but also for the spouses/partners/lovers of those grown-up boy victims; he "speaks" directly to both those victims and their partners with end-of-chapter questions as well as mid-chapter scenarios that is sure to be very, very helpful. For me, as an anguished, grief stricken father-offender, this book really brought it all "home" to me as what .... I had wrought, and upon finishing reading, makes all my previous empathizing - which I thought was "100%" - look more like minimizing my crime. Although I was not sexually abused in any of the classic ways as a child, the extensive discussion of the ways parents can sexually abuse without touching (consciously or sub-consciously) made me realize for the first time in my quest and treatment process that why, yes, I HAD been abused and crippled in ways that I had not understood before reading Hunter' book. I would highly recommend this to any adult who cares deeply about any specific person who has been - or may have been - sexually abused. This is a book which will be heavily loaned among needy friends, I am certain!
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Title: Victims No Longer: Men Recovering from Incest and Other Sexual Child Abuse by Mike Lew ISBN: 0060973005 Publisher: Perennial Pub. Date: February, 1990 List Price(USD): $20.00 |
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Title: Wounded Boys Heroic Men: A Man's Guide to Recovering from Child Abuse by Daniel Jay Sonkin ISBN: 1580620108 Publisher: Adams Media Corporation Pub. Date: June, 1998 List Price(USD): $12.95 |
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Title: Betrayed as Boys: Psychodynamic Treatment of Sexually Abused Men by Richard B. Gartner ISBN: 1572306440 Publisher: Guilford Press Pub. Date: 03 January, 2001 List Price(USD): $25.00 |
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Title: Leaping upon the Mountains: Men Proclaiming Victory over Sexual Child Abuse by Mike Lew, Richard Hoffman ISBN: 155643345X Publisher: North Atlantic Books Pub. Date: March, 2000 List Price(USD): $19.95 |
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Title: Allies in Healing: When the Person You Love Was Sexually Abused as a Child by Laura Davis ISBN: 0060968834 Publisher: Perennial Pub. Date: September, 1991 List Price(USD): $16.00 |
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