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Title: Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: What You Can Learn from the Breakthrough Research to Make Your Marriage Last by Nan Silver, John M. Gottman ISBN: 0671867482 Publisher: Simon & Schuster Pub. Date: February, 1994 Format: Hardcover Volumes: 1 List Price(USD): $21.00 |
Average Customer Rating: 4.2
Rating: 5
Summary: You can change your relationships
Comment: This book is based on scientific studies of how couples actually fight rather than on any generalized theory of categorizing types. By reading his analysis I was able to see how dysfunctional interactions contributed to the breakup of my marriage and I was able to retrain myself in communication methods. This new, more aware way of communicating has worked wonders in my new relationship. It's like riding a bicycle. Once you learn how to communicate effectively it will stick with you.
Rating: 5
Summary: A must read for married couples!!!
Comment: I read this book on the advice of my marriage therapist, right after my divorce was final. No advice has ever rung so true. It was a little too late to fix that one, but it's given me a lot to practice for the future. Of course, no book can answer all the questions, solve all your problems, but if you want to understand some of the more intricate patterns of communication that can subtly erode your marriage, I think this book is exceptional. I recently read it again with my partner, and it drew us together, helped us understand the goings on of our communication, where each of us has difficulty, and gave us sensible, reasonable solutions to mend our relationship and make it more positive. The best part of all: neither of us felt horrible for behaving like children; it just helped us understand what the consequences of our actions might be.
One little bit of data he uncovered, the impact of positive to negative interactions between couples, was reduced to a rather mathematical forumula: to practice a ratio of five positive to every one negative interaction. Sounds scientific enough, but in practice it's remarkable how much that little habit has done to improve all of my relationships. I think Gottman's work is a significant contribution to understanding how marriages do work, and what couples can do to avoid the pitfalls of harmful communication patterns. I have recommended it to everyone I know whose relationships are ailing and have gotten a lot of grateful thanks from them.
He's got a great writing style, humorous at times, and the book is fun to read with your significant other. I feel his information is practical, authentic, and gives the people like me, who don't quite understand all the ins and outs of communication, hope to have a better relationship.
Rating: 5
Summary: Professional information accessible to anyone
Comment: This book was required reading in my clinical psychology, masters level course. I was surprised to see a "popular psych" book in a graduate course but it turned out to be a great text. This book combines an academic and research perspective with accessible and easily generalized examples that can benefit anyone. Since reading it, I have significantly improved my relationship skills and use them frequently in my marriage. The self-tests, the simple practices, and the engaging writing style place this book at the top of the stack for relationship advice. This book is not just for couples in trouble--new couples or anyone looking to improve their relationship skills can benefit. I give it as a wedding gift all the time.
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Title: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John M. Gottman, Nan Silver ISBN: 0609805797 Publisher: Three Rivers Press Pub. Date: 16 May, 2000 List Price(USD): $12.95 |
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Title: A Couple's Guide to Communication by John Mordechai Gottman, Jonni Gonso, Clifford Notarius ISBN: 0878221271 Publisher: Research Press Pub. Date: June, 1979 List Price(USD): $21.95 |
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Title: The Relationship Cure: A Five-Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships by John, Ph.D. Gottman, Joan Declaire, John M. Gottman, Joan de Claire ISBN: 0609809539 Publisher: Three Rivers Press Pub. Date: 25 June, 2002 List Price(USD): $14.00 |
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Title: Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by John M. Gottman, Joan Declaire, Daniel P. Goleman ISBN: 0684838656 Publisher: Fireside Pub. Date: August, 1998 List Price(USD): $13.00 |
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Title: Passionate Marriage: Love, Sex, and Intimacy in Emotionally Committed Relationships by David Schnarch ISBN: 0805058265 Publisher: Henry Holt (Paper) Pub. Date: May, 1998 List Price(USD): $16.00 |
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