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Title: Beyond Friendship and Eros: Unrecognized Relationships Between Men and Women (Suny Series in the Philosophy of the Social Sciences) by John R. Scudder, Anne H. Bishop ISBN: 0-7914-5116-X Publisher: State University of New York Press Pub. Date: 01 August, 2001 Format: Paperback Volumes: 1 List Price(USD): $16.95 |
Average Customer Rating: 3.67 (3 reviews)
Rating: 1
Summary: Bland writing...
Comment: Not to mention the fact the authors seemed to write the book to convince themselves that their close relationship was "okay". I didn't really like the conversational structure of the book, and it was annoying when they brought up a philosopher before giving the reader any idea of what they were going to talk about. A letdown that isn't in touch with the younger generation. (The authors are in the 50+'s range).
Rating: 5
Summary: Must read
Comment: In our liberal and pluralist society, surely any kind of loving relationship is acceptable? Not so, argue Scudder and Bishop in this well-thought, engaging book. The authors open our eyes to the prejudice they have encountered in their relationship with each other: male and female, friends, but by no means 'just friends'.
The book is implicitly a celebration of that relationship: the dialogue format draws you into the conversation and discussion, and gives the warm feeling that you're chatting to the authors over a cup of coffee - complete with the occasional affectionate bicker. However, the friendliness has not compromised the academic rigor - we analyse thinkers from Plato to Lewis and Buber as the authors struggle to find terms that will express their relationship. Analogous relationships in popular culture and real life past and present are examined with insight and sensitivity.
'Beyond Friendship and Eros' describes not just their journey, but the journey of all who have pursued 'unrecognised relationships'. It spoke my life and my doubts, and assured me that I was not alone. I have always hated the phrase 'just friends', and felt present terminology to be inadequate for describing my relationships. Reading this brought me great joy and inspiration.
To read this book is to read about love, and to share in the authors' love for one another, and will undoubtedly drive you to deeper and more fulfilling personal relationships of all types. A most compelling and unforgettable accomplishment.
Rating: 5
Summary: A life-changing book that everyone should read
Comment: I am in a relationship such as this book describes. It's been a real struggle, because neither my friend nor I knew what to call it, what to do with our feelings for each other, or how to handle his marital relationship, our friends and colleagues, etc. We knew we cared for each other in deeper and more profound ways than "just friends," but his sincere commitment to his marriage prevented us from considering a sexual relationship. It was difficult and disorienting. All we could see were the two boxes--friend or lover--into which society wants to force all relationships. If we could not fit into either box, what was left? We did not want to give up our relationship, but the strains were severe.
I read Scudder and Bishop's book with shock after shock of recognition. And I think others will, as well. Anyone who either has strong feelings for someone of the opposite sex or who is interested in pursuing more meaningful, less surface-oriented relationships in their lives SHOULD READ THIS BOOK. It has already made a profound difference not only in the way I view this particular important relationship in my life, but also in the way I view ALL relationships.
Thanks to this book, I can see now that human culture has tended to define relationships so rigidly that profound, significant love relationships that do not fit into society's pre-determined categories fail to be validated in the vital ways (emotional, intellectual, spiritual) they should be validated, regardless of the gender of the people involved. And that's such a waste. Love should be savored, valued, and nurtured, no matter how it happens to come to you and no matter the gender of the beloved.
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Title: We're Just Good Friends: Women and Men in Nonromantic Relationships by Kathy Werking ISBN: 1572301872 Publisher: The Guilford Press Pub. Date: 02 May, 1997 List Price(USD): $30.00 |
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Title: The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene ISBN: 0142001198 Publisher: Penguin Books Pub. Date: 07 October, 2003 List Price(USD): $16.00 |
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