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Hidden Messages : What Our Words and Actions Are Really Telling Our Children

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Title: Hidden Messages : What Our Words and Actions Are Really Telling Our Children
by Elizabeth Pantley
ISBN: 0-8092-9770-1
Publisher: McGraw-Hill/Contemporary Books
Pub. Date: 01 September, 2000
Format: Paperback
Volumes: 1
List Price(USD): $14.95
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Average Customer Rating: 4.76 (17 reviews)

Customer Reviews

Rating: 5
Summary: Walking a mile...
Comment: "Hidden Messages" puts the reader back into the mind and heart of the child, and moves the reader to think more carefully about the things s/he says to, does for, and behaves around children. The book is based on the premise that most of us are "good parents" trying our best and incites us to think things through as we go through our everyday routines. The main thrust of the book is "walking a mile" in our children's shoes. Each section describes a common, everyday occurrence in family life, an incident that might not otherwise provoke a moment of thought...until viewed through a child's eyes. It then describes the child's possible interpretation, and discusses approaches.

When I read this book, I found myself saying over and over again, "Yes, I've done that...I've never thought of things that way..."

The book provokes thought on behalf of our children in a wise, witty, warm way that made me want to hug my children at the conclusion of every chapter. It offered reassurance that I'm just like most parents, yet gives me ways I can improve my communication style and be more mindful of the examples I set. I can't think of anyone who could not benefit from reading it.

Rating: 5
Summary: Amazing! Life changing!
Comment: Everything we do is giving a message to our children. A scary thought? Certainly, especially when we realise that often we are unknowingly giving them entirely the WRONG message. Sometimes we are inadvertently teaching our children the exact OPPOSITE of what we would like to. The good news is that we can learn to give our kids the messages we really WANT them to get! Hidden Messages: What our words and actions are really telling our children is a book that EVERY parent needs to read.

As always, Elizabeth Pantley challenges us to think about our parenting and teaches us how to make changes that can have dramatic effects on the lives of our families. Her style is gentle and positive. As Dr. William Sears writes in his foreword, "Sure to gently tweak the consciences of even the best parents, inspire them to raise their children in a more conscious and sensitive manner - and tug at the heartstrings as a reminder to give constructive messages to our children".

This book is DIFFERENT! Elizabeth Pantley uses stories (some real, some partly contrived) to illustrate a whole variety of parenting lessons. This is very effective indeed. Many parents will be able to see themselves in some of the examples. As I read, I felt at times shocked, at times amazed, at times I even shed a tear or two. I learnt a great deal about myself, my parenting, and how to make some important changes. When you read this book, be prepared to be moved.

Hidden Messages consists of 33 stories, grouped into the categories: messages about responsibility and independence; messages about thoughtfulness and kindness; messages about annoyance and anger; messages about relationships; messages about discipline and behavior; messages about listening and caring and love; messages about time and priorities and messages about parenting styles. Each story is followed by the "hidden message" (see if you can work it out for yourself while reading the story!), "think about it" and "changes you can make". In these 33 short stories, you are taken on a kind of journey of all that is important in parenting. You are challenged (ever so gently) to examine your own relationship with your children and given the tools to grow and mature in your parenting journey.

This is an amazing book! I thoroughly recommend it to every parent - the messages contained in it are simply too important to miss.

Rating: 5
Summary: Most powerful book I've ever read!
Comment: Powerful is the only word to describe this book. I can't believe the impact it can have on your life. I think if all parents were required to read it before their children were born our world would be a place I'd be more than happy to raise my 2 children in!
Jessica Hudson
Sexy & Stylish Maternity Clothing and Nursing Clothing at Eva Lillian Maternity & Nursing Boutique

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