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Title: Pure Desire: Helping People Break Free from Sexual Struggles by Ted Roberts, Jack W. Hayford ISBN: 0-8307-2335-8 Publisher: Regal Books Pub. Date: April, 1999 Format: Paperback Volumes: 1 List Price(USD): $14.99 |
Average Customer Rating: 4.92 (13 reviews)
Rating: 5
Summary: Much more than a book just about Sexual Sin
Comment: I am so pleased to recommend this book. You are well advised to purchase a copy. Throughout the book, Ted Roberts DOES talk about sexual temptations and sin. For this, I was very grateful, as I needed a resource to help me with my counselling, that was comprehensive, Biblical, and practical. However, best of all, this book is for people who have "have repented innumerable times and tried with everything they have to follow Christ," and "have tried to remedy the situation by being more determined and spiritual, but it didn't work," (p. 26,27). Sound familiar?
Rating: 5
Summary: Read this book ASAP if you stuggle in this area.
Comment: One of my seminary counseling teachers wanted to make Pure Desire required reading during the Fall 2001 semester, but had read it too late to include it in our class reading list. Her strong recommendation of this book made me want to read it ASAP, and I managed to fit it in between my regular course reading. It was definitely worth the free time I had to sacrifice in order to read it. Suffice to say, Pure Desire is one of the best books on healing sexual addiction that I've ever read. I can say that because I've been able to personally investigate the book's background and apply its truths to my own life, since I live very close to Ted Roberts' church in Gresham, Oregon.
In addition to reading the book, I attended Dr. Roberts' three-day Pure Desire Seminar, which is intended for pastors who want to start a ministry for sexual addicts in their own churches. During the seminar, I (and others) directly questioned Dr. Roberts and his staff about their methods, theology, etc. Their answers backed up what I read in the book, and my interaction with them showed me their genuine desire to see people healed from the bondage of sexual addiction. Finally, I visited one of their For Men Only (FMO) sexual addiction healing groups as part of my seminary internship, and I found it so helpful for my own struggles that I have stayed with it for almost nine months and counting.
Basically, I have found the methods and ideas presented in the book to actually work in real life. For example, one of the main healing strategies Dr. Roberts advocates is to become part of a small group where men can "confess [their] trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that [they] may be healed (James 4:7)." I have seen a number of men go through the FMO group I attend, and there seem to be two types. First, there are the ones who know they have a problem (usually because they have gotten into trouble due to their addiction), but are not really ready to deal with it. These men tend to stay for awhile, and then leave the group to go back to their addiction. Second, there are the ones who have truly hit bottom and are willing to persevere on the long road to healing. It is these men who are honest with their struggles, and therefore they avoid such traps as rationalizing and compartmentalizing their addiction. Sure, we all take turns with discouragement and despair, and lapses do occur. But when others are there to lovingly bear the burden and provide accountability, it helps us get through the valley and go back up the mountainside. Of all the small groups I've been in over the years, this one has by far been the best for my own personal healing. Therefore, I can vouch firsthand for Dr. Roberts' exhortation to avoid the trap of isolation (which makes it easy to act out) by becoming part of a healthy group situation.
I believe that the central theme of Pure Desire is the restoration of healthy, loving, and holy relationships with God, self, and others. Sexual addiction is a symptom of a deeper relational problem. It is a sinful solution to a real desire for intimacy on the part of the addict. Pure Desire presents a way out of this trap that really works if you want to follow it. No, its not easy or quick, because true healing in this area takes time. And to be honest, it can be difficult to find help for this issue due to the closed-minded attitude of some churches toward sexual issues and problems. But it is possible, because I have found Christians willing to help, and over time I have observed healing gradually taking place in myself and others. If you are struggling with sexual addiction, you need to read this book (and others like it) and get help. You can pay now by owing up to your problem and getting on the road to healing, or you can pay later with your marriage, your reputation, or even your life. The path you choose is up to you.
Rating: 5
Summary: Read this book NOW if you struggle with sexual addiction!
Comment: One of my seminary counseling teachers wanted to make Pure Desire required reading during the Fall 2001 semester, but had read it too late to include it in our class reading list. Her strong recommendation of this book made me want to read it ASAP, and I managed to fit it in between my regular course reading. It was definitely worth the free time I had to sacrifice in order to read it. Suffice to say, Pure Desire is one of the best books on healing sexual addiction that I've ever read. I can say that because I've been able to personally investigate the book's background and apply its truths to my own life, since I live very close to Ted Roberts' church in Gresham, Oregon.
In addition to reading the book, I attended Dr. Roberts' three-day Pure Desire Seminar, which is intended for pastors who want to start a ministry for sexual addicts in their own churches. During the seminar, I (and others) directly questioned Dr. Roberts and his staff about their methods, theology, etc. Their answers backed up what I read in the book, and my interaction with them showed me their genuine desire to see people healed from the bondage of sexual addiction. Finally, I visited one of their For Men Only (FMO) sexual addiction healing groups as part of my seminary internship, and I found it so helpful for my own struggles that I have stayed with it for almost nine months and counting.
Basically, I have found the methods and ideas presented in the book to actually work in real life. For example, one of the main healing strategies Dr. Roberts advocates is to become part of a small group where men can "confess [their] trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that [they] may be healed (James 4:7)." I have seen a number of men go through the FMO group I attend, and there seem to be two types. First, there are the ones who know they have a problem (usually because they have gotten into trouble due to their addiction), but are not really ready to deal with it. These men tend to stay for awhile, and then leave the group to go back to their addiction. Second, there are the ones who have truly hit bottom and are willing to persevere on the long road to healing. It is these men who are honest with their struggles, and therefore they avoid such traps as rationalizing and compartmentalizing their addiction. Sure, we all take turns with discouragement and despair, and lapses do occur. But when others are there to lovingly bear the burden and provide accountability, it helps us get through the valley and go back up the mountainside. Of all the small groups I've been in over the years, this one has by far been the best for my own personal healing. Therefore, I can vouch firsthand for Dr. Roberts' exhortation to avoid the trap of isolation (which makes it easy to act out) by becoming part of a healthy group situation.
I believe that the central theme of Pure Desire is the restoration of healthy, loving, and holy relationships with God, self, and others. Sexual addiction is a symptom of a deeper relational problem. It is a sinful solution to a real desire for intimacy on the part of the addict. Pure Desire presents a way out of this trap that works if you really want to follow it. No, its not easy or quick, because true healing in this area takes time. And to be honest, it can be difficult to find help for this issue due to the closed-minded attitude of some churches toward sexual issues and problems. But it is possible, because I have found Christians willing to help, and over time I have observed healing gradually taking place in myself and others. If you are struggling with sexual addiction, you need to read this book (and others like it) and get help. You can pay now by owing up to your problem and getting on the road to healing, or you can pay later with your marriage, your reputation, or even your life. It's up to you, man.
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Title: Breaking Free: Understanding Sexual Addiction & the Healing Power of Jesus by Russell Willingham, Bob Davies ISBN: 0830817913 Publisher: Intervarsity Press Pub. Date: March, 1999 List Price(USD): $13.00 |
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Title: False Intimacy: Understanding the Struggle of Sexual Addiction by Harry W. Schaumburg, Harry W. Shaumburg ISBN: 1576830284 Publisher: Navpress Pub. Date: September, 1997 List Price(USD): $14.00 |
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Title: An Affair of the Mind: One Woman's Courageous Battle to Salvage Her Family from the Devastation of Pornography by Laurie Sharlene Hall ISBN: 1561794643 Publisher: Focus on the Family Pub Pub. Date: 01 April, 1998 List Price(USD): $12.99 |
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Title: Every Man's Battle : Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time by Stephen Arterburn, Fred Stoeker, Mike Yorkey ISBN: 1578563682 Publisher: WaterBrook Press Pub. Date: 18 July, 2000 List Price(USD): $13.99 |
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Title: Living With Your Husband's Secret Wars by Marsha Means ISBN: 0800757106 Publisher: Fleming H Revell Co Pub. Date: September, 1999 List Price(USD): $12.99 |
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