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Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and Other Realities of Adolescence

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Title: Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and Other Realities of Adolescence
by Rosalind Wiseman
ISBN: 1-4000-4792-7
Publisher: Three Rivers Press
Pub. Date: 04 March, 2003
Format: Paperback
Volumes: 1
List Price(USD): $14.95
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Average Customer Rating: 3.86 (35 reviews)

Customer Reviews

Rating: 5
Summary: Huge Help for Parents!
Comment: I bought this book for my best friend, who is the mother of my six-year-old goddaughter. I figured that it couldn't be too early to learn about what lies ahead for all of us when little Ryann starts interacting with cliques. What I was totally unprepared for was how interested I would be in the book. I don't have a daughter, and my son is only eleven, but when I started reading the text myself, I didn't want to put it down. The easy-to-follow advice made me laugh and cry as it helped make sense of my own past and even shed light on the social structure surrounding my young son at his school. It also made me realize how similar boys and girls can be in their need to be popular and understood within their peer groups.

I found that some of the text of this jewel of a book applies to parenting either sex (i.e. the most effective parent is a "Loving Hard ... Parent" and the all important reminder that the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree), and I felt an urgency to take notes so that I could be a more trustworthy and effective mom.

This book showed me that my parents did many things RIGHT, which explains why my teenage years--and my relationship with my parents--were so enjoyable. I will reread this book so that I will do the right things with my son and with my goddaughter. I'm not sure why several of the reviews on this site are negative. I enjoyed this book so much that I am buying copies for all of my friends who have girls, as well as one for myself. It is beautifully written, expertly edited and comes straight from an author with more experience with teens than anyone I've ever met. Through her work with thousands of teenage girls, her "insiders" look into the world of young women is profound and a gift to those of us whose sanity will at times depend on making sense of the alien girls in our midst (whether they are our own, or interacting with our sons), and saying and doing the "right" thing at the "right" time. Thank you for this fantastic labor of love!

Rating: 3
Summary: Preparing for the inevitable
Comment: I picked up this book for two reasons: first I am raising a young daughter and want every opportunity to understand what her world may be like, and what I can do to help as her father. Second, the reviews here really piqued my interest. For example when literary thinkers like John Zxerce review a book that looks on the surface as little more than tripe psychobabble, I take notice and assume there might be more to it.

Overall, I have skimmed the book, and plan to read it again in more detail, but there is some great information here, as well as some of the expected psychobabble that sounds good on paper but doesn't really lead anywhere. An example of this is the section of homosexuality. It was presented with an agenda, not as a realistic look into this issue.

The book is well written though, and I enjoyed, make that grimaced, at the thought of my daughter going through the school age gossip and cliques, and other potentially destructive issues teen girls face. If you are raising a young woman, this is a good source of information, but not by any means should it be taken as an "instruction manual" as the views are often overly simplistic and also often carry a liberal agenda. Good resource for identifying problems, just not solutions.

Rating: 5
Summary: Excellent insight into the REAL world of teenage girls
Comment: 15 years ago when I was in middle school, sex, drugs and especially parties were certainly issues we had to face.

I think this book is great because there haven't been many books on the topic. When I was experiencing bullying by other girls when I was in school, nobody really believed me that young girls could be even more vicious to each other than boys. The truth is that girls can absolutely torment each other. I hope this book will help bring the issue to light and enlighten parents and educators about what's REALLY going on.

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