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Title: Smart Love: The Compassionate Alternative to Discipline That Will Make You a Better Parent and Your Child a Better Person by Martha H. Ph.D Pieper, William J. Pieper ISBN: 1-55832-142-X Publisher: Harvard Common Press Pub. Date: 01 April, 1999 Format: Hardcover Volumes: 1 List Price(USD): $22.95 |
Average Customer Rating: 4.6 (63 reviews)
Rating: 5
Summary: An Terrific Conribution
Comment: I am a clinical social worker with almost twenty-five years of experience working with children and their families in clinical practice as well as from my previous work as a teacher.
I enthusiastically endorse SMART LOVE by Dr. Martha Heineman Pieper and Dr. William Pieper. SMART LOVE is based on the most current research in child development and is a revolutionary way of understanding how children develop motives for happiness and unhappiness through their relationships with their caregivers.
The Piepers offer parents a unique way of understanding their children's often perplexing and contradictory behaviors within a developmental framework. Their clear explanations and rich examples help parents to know their children and to feel confident that they can care for their children so that they will be happy, confident, and responsible adults.
From my experience, all parents want to take the very best care they can of their children. The Piepers offer parents the opportunity to parent effectively and to enjoy the process.
My experience in using the principles of SMART LOVE with parents and children has demonstrated to me that this theory is the most effective one I've ever used. I have found, however, that when people say it doesn't work, it is usually because they don't fully understand SMART LOVE. The Piepers' newest book, ADDICTED TO UNHAPPINESS, offers additional insight into how parenting carries over into our adult experiences and reading that adds an additional dimension for anyone wanting to know more about this topic.
Rating: 5
Summary: If Your Child is Having Trouble in School, Try Smart Love
Comment: My 6th grader and I were locked in a battle over his homework. He didn't want to do it and I was following the parenting books that said to impose restrictions and consequences. So I revoked his phone privileges. When that didn't work, I cut his allowance. When that didn't work I grounded him. My son finally did his homework but he was angry and sullen. I realized that my aim, to help him enjoy learning, was being frustrated, not helped by these harsh methods. Then on Ann Landers advice, I read Smart Love. What a difference. The Piepers convinced me that discipinary measures were harming not helping my son. I followed their clear guidelines for responding to children who are having trouble in school. Instead of ordering my son to do his homework, I offered to sit down with him and help him. In place of sullen resentment, I got a positive response. We actually spent an enjoyable time together. Over the last few days I can see that my son is beginning to enjoy doing his schoolwork with me. Equally important, his sullen moods are lifting and he and I are close once again. The Piepers are so smart to realize that disciplinary measures are worthless as positive motivation. All children and all parents would benefit from Smart Love!!!
Rating: 5
Summary: Help your baby sleep through the night w/o feeling guilty!
Comment: I just had my second baby. With the first one I followed the common wisdom and tried to get him to sleep through the night by letting him cry. He cried and cried and I felt so guilty -- I spent the day loving and cuddling him and then I felt like I turned into a monster at night. Between children, I read Smart Love - what a relief. I could actually follow my heart without feeling I was harming my new baby. In fact what I learned is that letting babies cry harms them and comforting them helps them by teaching them compassion adn caring. Rather than let my baby cry, I followed the Smart Love advice to comfort her and help her get to sleep. I felt much happier and was amazed to find that after a few weeks she was actually sleeping better than my first child had. So read this wonderful book and stop feeling guilty about the love you feel for and want to give your children!
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