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The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize it and How to Respond

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Title: The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize it and How to Respond
by Patricia Evans
ISBN: 1-55850-582-2
Publisher: Adams Media Corporation
Pub. Date: March, 1996
Format: Paperback
Volumes: 1
List Price(USD): $10.95
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Average Customer Rating: 4.24 (142 reviews)

Customer Reviews

Rating: 5
Summary: For the landmark book on verbal abuse, start here.
Comment: As a criminal prosecutor with 15 years of experience, having worked on numerous domestic violence cases ranging from assault to intentional murder, I found Patricia Evan's book, The Verbally Abusive Relationship to be a revolutionary, definitive, and validating text on the subject of verbally abusive relationships. Revolutionary, because it seeks to shed light on one of our cultures long-ignored social taboos. Definitive, because it puts words to concepts whose dialogue was previously muted by a lack of community awareness and common language. And finally, validating for those who have suffered in the cruel isolation created through verbal abuse and controlling behaviors. If you are a reader looking for a legitimate starting point on the subject of verbal abuse, Patricia Evan's book, The Verbally Abusive Relationship, is the place to start.

The Verbally Abusive Relationship is not advocacy, but rather presents an education in recognizing, and contending with, verbally abusive behaviors. The Verbally Abusive Relationship begins by defining varying realities, and the role these realities play in verbally abusive relationships. In addition to introducing the reader to new concepts and vocabulary in a world of dysfunctional interpersonal communication, Patricia Evans goes on to provide essential information necessary for recognizing and ultimately surviving, the destructive effects that come from living in a relationship filled with verbal abuse.

Francis Bacon wrote that "knowlegdge is power." In this sense, Patricia Evans' book, The Verbally Abusive Relationship empowers those who have suffered from the abuse of controlling partners. But, like any written work whose contents threaten to undermine the power of those who have chosen, through abuse, to subjugate their partner, this book will draw detractors. After more that a decade in publication, The Verbally Abusive Relationship's success and truth can be measured in lives saved, or detractor's protests. Either way, it presents a truth that is disempowering to abusers, and empowering to victims of verbal abuse.

Rating: 5
Summary: Excellent Resource
Comment: This book was extremely well-written and to the point. It was so helpful to see the same behaviors I had observed documented in the book. The author not only describes verbal abuse but explains the typical perspective of both the abuser and the abused. Having an understanding of these perspectives is invaluable and key to understanding the dynamics of the verbally abusive relationship. Thankfully the author was not content to stop these, but went on to describe responses to the abuser that have been tested in real world situations.

This book is an excellent resource to any person who feels that he or she is being verbally abused, friends, and those who care for the verbally abused in clinical situations.

Very few people would allow themselves to be physically assaulted without finding methods of self-defense. Those who are verbally assaulted have every right to defend themselves. Now. If you believe that you are in a verbally abusive relationship, you probably are. There is nothing heroic about continuing to be emotionally beaten up. This book is the right place to start. Don't put it off.

Rating: 5
Summary: breakthrough book for women in unhealthy relationships
Comment: This book has enormous power for women wondering what is wrong with their relationships. It identifies and describes several types of behavior men use to confuse, control and abuse their partners. It also details how these patterns of abuse can take their toll - through things like depression, poor self esteem, and addictions.

Most people who have been verbally abused by their partner do not recognize it as abuse. It can go on for years, with distasterous consequences. But Pat's book provides victims of abuse with clear instructions for recognizing what types of behavior should not be tolerated - and what to do about it.

This book should be required reading for anyone struggling to understand what has gone wrong with their intimate relationships. For those who have not known abuse, it may seem to be of little value. But for thousands of people in support groups for abuse around the country, it has strengthened and changed lives. I have never written a recommendation for a book on Amazon before, but I felt compelled to write one for this book. It is that good.

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