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Ghosts in the Bedroom: A Guide for Partners of Incest Survivors

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Title: Ghosts in the Bedroom: A Guide for Partners of Incest Survivors
by Ken Graber
ISBN: 1-55874-116-X
Publisher: Health Communications
Pub. Date: 01 March, 1991
Format: Paperback
Volumes: 1
List Price(USD): $8.95
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Average Customer Rating: 4.21 (14 reviews)

Customer Reviews

Rating: 5
Summary: This is the finest book for partners of survivors
Comment: Of the books written about survivors of sexual abuse/incest (and I've read almost all of them over the past 25 or so years), Ken Graber's Ghosts in the Bedroom is the finest and clearest I know of for partners of incest survivors. It is concise and well organized, and it raises and addresses questions that those who love, or are in a relationship with, a survivor need answered. I recommend it highly to anyone in such a relationship and also to those men and woman who are themselves victims/survivors of sexual abuse and incest.

Rating: 4
Summary: Good place to start
Comment: If you find yourself confused, and frustrated, with your partners behaviour due to childhood sexual abuse, and you haven't really looked at any books yet, this is a good starting place.

This book is not too long, but loaded with good insights and well written. It is also very honest and forces us as partners to look at ourselves. It is noteworthy that Graber forces us as partners to think about the reasons we may have been drawn to childhood survivors of abuse. Perhaps it is not what we want to read or think about, and maybe it doesn't apply to everyone, but these are good questions to be asking...This is why I highly disagree with reviews that criticize invcluding a focus on the partners' behavioral patterns. It is well worth thinking about.

Overall, i think this book, if anything, will make you feel like you are not alone and in the least can serve as a "friend" when you are feeling confused.

Lastly, its positive that this book does not advocate saving the relationship no matter what. Everybody's situation is different.

Again, I highly recommend this book if you would like have a little more insight regarding your relationship and willing to take an honest look at yourself too.

Rating: 5
Summary: So important
Comment: Having been not only married to an insest survivor, but one myself, I can honestly say that this is one of the most useful books out there. If you think you're the only one (or half of a couple), let me assure you that the problem of abuse and incest if more far reaching than you'd ever expect. Do yourself a favor and read this--it will make a difference.

Also recommended: McCrae's BARK OF THE DOGWOOD and THE COURAGE TO HEAL

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