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Undefended Love: The way that you felt about yourself when you first fell in love is the way that you can feel all the time

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Title: Undefended Love: The way that you felt about yourself when you first fell in love is the way that you can feel all the time
by Jett Psaris, Marlena S. Lyons, Gay Hendricks, Kathlyn Hendricks
ISBN: 1-57224-208-6
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
Pub. Date: 01 October, 2000
Format: Paperback
Volumes: 1
List Price(USD): $14.95
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Average Customer Rating: 4.79 (14 reviews)

Customer Reviews

Rating: 4
Summary: Undefended Love is the Key to Intimacy
Comment: THis is a straightforward, well written exploration of the hidden vulnerable selves that we protect and defend at the cost of our relattionships, happiness and sense of wholeness. The book reveals the way blaming others(our favorite passtime) keeps us locked in the jail of our minds, unable to get beyond the story we have invented about whjo we think we are and what we should have. This book explores the sheer power available in vulnerability and honesty, directing our attention to our inner world, in an uncovery process that will, if followed, change every relatyionship in our lives for the better. Unlike typical 'self help' books, this work is fresh, clear and makes no hyped-up promises about the ease and speed of the process. Getting yourself to put down your defenses is a worthwhile endeavor that requires guts, determination and the willingness to stay with all your thoughts and feelings rather than trying to stop, numb or repress them. This is a great book for anyone- teens just starting out, people looking for a mate and wondering why they always attract the same 'type', people having trouble in their relationships, those wanting to go deeper and increase intimacy and those married for years will all get something valuable from this book. I think a great companion book to this work is Practicing Radical Honsety by Brad Blanton. Both books are an invitation to go deeper, own responsibility for your own happiness and stay in direct contact with yourself and others while honesty and undefended love can create the joy and intimacy each and everyone of us want.

Rating: 5
Summary: Wonderful! A must-read book!
Comment: "To receive and offer unconditional love, we must become undefended and unconditional lovers" write authors and visionaries Jett Psaris and Marlena Lyons. How to achieve the trust, intimacy and strength to drop one's defenses and "...resurface from our protected hiding place and come into direct contact with ourselves and our partners" is the vital subject of Undefended Love.

Here is the means to recognize the complex ways we protect ourselves emotionally, and the tools to expand, not limit our ability to know and love one another. Utilizing a deep understanding of relationships, and case studies of many couples in transition, the authors map the way to success. We learn, "When we try to relate to our partners with our multiple layers of protective padding in place, it is as if we are trying to hug them through ten layers of overcoats. Our outer layers may meet, but our longing to be deeply connected remains unfulfilled."

When we shed these mantles of protection we become more capable of being nonreactive, openhearted and loving in our relationships. Authors Psaris and Lyons show us how to do this by eliminating the preoccupations we substitute for relationships, determining what it is we really want, and dissolving our defenses.

Undefended Love teaches us that, "Instead of trying to maintain a sense of harmony by limiting who we are, we embrace our partners as intimate allies." What a splendid goal because it leads to the discovery that we are all one vast, loving, universal heart. In this reviewer's opinion, Undefended Love is the roadmap to that goal, and the transformation to become whole!

Rating: 5
Summary: If a picture is worth a thousand words, here's a new view.
Comment: This book is about how to navigate the waters of partnership and intimacy, with genuine and authentic guidance. Every page has gems worth highlighting, and wisdom so true, it deserves multiple readings. The brilliance, and simplicity of the invitation to return to your authentic self as a measure of your true expression, is not only practical, but essential for the survival of any relationship. If you know and have experienced closeness, but think there's more, you're right. This book shows you how closeness is only an imitation for the real deal: intimacy. Whether in partnership with another, or with your deeper self, reading this book is absolutely worth your time and energy. Buy two and give one to someone you love.

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