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Title: When Anger Hurts: Quieting the Storm Within by Peter D., Ph.D. Rogers, Judith McKay, Matthew, Ph.D. McKay ISBN: 1-57224-344-9 Publisher: New Harbinger Pubns Pub. Date: November, 2003 Format: Paperback Volumes: 1 List Price(USD): $16.95 |
Average Customer Rating: 3.64 (14 reviews)
Rating: 4
Summary: Long-haul read, but very effective for me.
Comment: I picked up the book in a library, and have been looking for a copy to own ever since. The book painstakingly talks you through the argument that anger is not in itself bad, but that anger is a response which at some level is a choice.
The chapters take you through the process of identifying the patterns of thoughts which trigger anger, such as blaming, globalisation (making a mountain out of a molehill) etc. Once these triggers have been identified, the book offers a number of strategies to cope with them.
The book emphasises that by controlling your response to the trigger thoughts you can choose not to be angry. It's hard work, and no quick-fix, but I found it more helpful than anything else I've tried.
As a bit of background, I am a happly married family man with two kids, but I found I had this bullying side to my nature which was out of all proportion to the stimuli received. It's still there, but the techniques in the book kind of slow down and separate the stages of becoming angry in this way, and so have given me a chance to choose a different way of coping with the stimuli.
Anyway, it's a book I would recommend.
Rating: 4
Summary: A Helpful Aid
Comment: I got this book because my counselor recommended it as reading and it certainly has improved the effectiveness of our sessions.
Because anger is like an addiction and in the end requires an individual to change their fundamental behaviors, it is not a easy thing to deal with. This is a good book for people who are committed to making these changes because it gives you're a framework to successfully do the behavior modification.
It provides to be an excellent collection of tools and exercises to help one deal with anger issues. It is very comprehensive and deals with broad range of anger issues with friends, in the workplace and at home.
Unlike some other anger books I browsed, I found it to be objective about the downsides of some of the techniques.
If I were to rate this book for impact on my life it is 5 stars, but because it is not always easy to read, I gave it a 4 star rating.
I would thus suggest not trying to read every word in the book, but instead focus the key points and go deep where necessary so you can learn what you need to complete the exercises.
Rating: 5
Summary: Not your average Anger book!!!
Comment: This book doesn't get 5 stars for literary merit, but for the simple,but shocking idea that anger is not real. As I understand what they say, anger is the label we learn to put on a host of other feelings(that we don't learn the names for, or how to talk about them or deal with them in any way but simmering,screaming, hitting,etc.)from the time we're born...then, watch out! Feelings of frustration, feeling treatened(two of many possibilities for us to express "anger")make us feel stressed, and we can only stand so much of that, so we do various,often anti-social,things to diminish the feeling. Even though, as the authors point out, we cannot feel guilty WHILE venting anger, afterwards we do, and a vicious circle is sustained as long as we don't go far enough into what we're feeling and thinking, we just react,either outwardly or mentally and keep attacking ourselves. For example, a frequent occurrance for me was wanting to smash into other drivers who came up behind me too fast on the street...after I read this book and relived that situation, it was clear that I felt my life was threatened by their behavior...clearly,getting irate in my car wasn't controlling their behavior,but it was harming me...now I can get out of their way and keep my cool and protect myself. This book will help anyone who'e tired of the same old knee-jerk reaction to things.Hopefully, we'll understand it and pass on the ability of decipher our feelings to our children! Ever see a baby crying really hard, after an injection or when they're really hungry, and hear an "adult" say,"Whoa, he's really angry!"? Not! Read this book if you have the courage to learn more, and understand that the people we learned from just didn't know.
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Title: When Anger Hurts Your Relationship: 10 Simple Solutions for Couples Who Fight by Matthew, Ph.D. McKay, Kim, Ph.D. Paleg ISBN: 1572242604 Publisher: New Harbinger Pubns Pub. Date: 09 November, 2001 List Price(USD): $13.95 |
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Title: When Anger Hurts Your Kids: A Parent's Guide by Matthew McKay, Patrick Fanning, Kim Paleg, Dana Landis ISBN: 1572240458 Publisher: New Harbinger Pubns Pub. Date: June, 1996 List Price(USD): $14.95 |
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Title: The Anger Control Workbook by Peter, Ph.D. Rogers, Matthew, Ph.D. McKay, Peter D. Rogers, Mathew McKay ISBN: 1572242205 Publisher: New Harbinger Pubns Pub. Date: 30 December, 2000 List Price(USD): $17.95 |
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Title: Couple Skills: Making Your Relationship Work by Ph.D. Matthew McKay, Patrick Fanning, et al ISBN: 1879237660 Publisher: New Harbinger Pubns Pub. Date: June, 1994 List Price(USD): $15.95 |
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Title: Angry All the Time: An Emergency Guide to Anger Control by Ron Potter-Efron, Ronald T. Potter-Efron ISBN: 1879237970 Publisher: New Harbinger Pubns Pub. Date: October, 1994 List Price(USD): $13.95 |
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